Sunday, April 19, 2009

It's Finished (for now)

Well after three days of talks and another couple spent shopping engaging in high-level dialogue and fellowship, the members of the GAFCON Primates Council and their coterie of impressively sycophantic laymen have gone home – or at least they’ve gone to somebody’s home. Hopefully it isn’t any of your homes, my dearly beloved sinners.

Naturally they managed to accomplish a tremendous amount during the course of this recent little junket. News is thin on the ground, but little George Conger tells us that they’ve “endorsed” the formation of little Bobby Duncan’s ACNA sect-pretending-to-be-a-province, and that they’re less than enthusiastic about the proposed Anglican Covenant.

Now I know that the David Virtues of our Communion never guessed GAFCON’s biggest monkeys would feel this way about either issue, and are currently finding both of these conclusions a wonderful surprise, but those of us who haven’t neglected to take our medication on the grounds that it “was probably developed by sodomites and people who don’t believe Noah’s Ark has been found on a mountain in Turkey” can’t help thinking that pretty much anyone could have predicted the Council’s findings for a fraction of what this show cost. And with as much smoke and as many mirrors as Big Pete and the lads used, little David, Matt, George and all the rest of them would be just as excited by the "startling" pronouncement.

Next thing you know the usual suspects will be breathlessly posting blogs with headings like “Pope endorses Roman Catholicism!”, “Mormon boy feels guilty about Masturbation!”, and “Scientologist pays $$$ for worthless course!” Although given that I’ve just finished reading a charming thread at Viagraville in which one of the faithful (#95 – “Katherine”) emphatically insists “they HAVE (the prisoners) been treated humanely at Guantanamo” I’m beginning to suspect that point might have been have passed long ago.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.


Brother David said...

Uhm, uhm, uhm.

Papi C, who is little Bobby Armstrong?

Robert said...

I believe GAFCON's greatest mistake is failing to make the Rev. Dr. Christian Troll their primate designate!

Robert said...

And I don't say that just to suck up to the good doctrinal warrior!

Anonymous said...

We shouldn't mock Christians, Father, when they agree with - and love - one another. I love all people who happen to agree with me. The others can go to Hell.

Wormwood's Doxy said...

Did you see, Father Christian? Only one journalist showed up for their press conference...

What if you gave a schism and no one showed up?


Leonard said...

Oh Dahveed, don´t be tiresome *know* perfectly well that Duncan and Armstrong have had a relationship and will continue to have one (probably on visitors day at The Colorado State Penitentiary)´s so easy to get names confused when we´re playing ¨who´s got/wants the mitre¨ (and who does it really belong to)´s also so confundable.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Leonardo's quite right David - in my mind those two always merge into one, and not just because of the remarkable ethical similarity. They really do make a lovely couple - although like spiders I fear one of them would eat the other after conjugal consummation.

Still, thank you for the correction, and unlike little George Conger I'm quite prepared to give credit where it's due.

Frank Remkiewicz aka “Tree” said...

I don't know if I have ever asked this question before but who died and left them God? Did God take a vacation and not tell us? I know this is Monday after low Sunday but really, did these guys think we just fell of the turnip truck?

Brother David said...


I was just fishing to see if Papi C was privy to Bobby D and Donny A having a love child, Little Bobby Armstrong, and perhaps let it out of the bag!

If so, I think it appropriate we all send them a little shower gift.

Leonardo could crochet them one of those lovely handcuff covers he does so smartly for the MS-13 mareros in his neighborhood.

Unknown said...

After that lovely press conference near Heathrow, I did a google search to see if I could find pictures of the complete set of Focker churches in America. This is what I found.

As an added bonus, I believe that Father Mass Progeny's church is in New York. Now I'm not sure if this is his or not, but it might be! Finally a church building the proper size to hold all the right thinkers of StandFirm!

J. Duddridge Plunk: Editor said...

Dear Fr Christian,
I wonder why you finish your blogs with ...I teach the Bible?
My question is, what do you teach the Bible? Do you teach it to sing? Do you teach it to dance?
How about getting a whole lot of different translations and forming a choir, a chorus line, an opera company!
Wouldn't that be fun!

Anonymous said...

Oh Davheed, don´t you go gett´n him in dutch with them maras...besides, I have really attractive multicolor handwoven (with tiny ikats and spot beading) bracelet covers doneup...I use a wonderful older women in Mayag├╝ez to make them and I pay her almost nothing, literally, even though they are quite labor intensive as you might imagine with sturdy, yet stretchy, rubber open backs.

My bracelet covers are so well received that when tourists are arrested for drunkeness, or worse, they feel as if they are more ¨part of¨ the local scene when being forced to buy them in back of the squad car (of course, we´re civilized here and ANYONE, and I mean anyone, can pay their way out of jail after a week, or sooner, depending).

Makes my ankle-chains swet.

Bracelet covers, as little rememberances, are often exchanged in prison and are considered very chic memorabilia by frequent visitors.

Dahveed, would you like me to whip up a new style for your glasses del Sol or are you going to continue to wear them, naked like that, until the drug war lets up?

I know you´re prone to a bit of panache...perhaps a multi-colored/rubberbacked shower curtain would be more practical and in better taste?

Do let me know, I don´t want to over-do.

Fergie Naughtingham-Stroud

Brother David said...

The Governator is my hero! Lentes del Sol, plain and simple were good enough for him, and plain and simple is good enough for me.

I usually get my shower curtains from the vast, but tasteful, selection at Target in Laredo, TX.

(No less than two friends have sent me links to porno sights of boys showering together, with my same shower curtain! I love the infamy!)