Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Living Rough for Jesus in London

It’s come to my attention that a few ne’er-do-wells have been wondering why the current GAFCON meeting is being held in England, of all places, when six of the seven men with pointy hats live in Africa. “Would it not,” these dreadful cynics ask, “be a better use of resources to have held the conference in Africa, particularly given that GAFCON is supposed to represent a move away from the old colonial chains towards a vibrant grass-roots level Anglican Communion of the future?”

Of course it’s this kind of foolish talk that shows just how depraved the Western Church has become: you can bet your favourite machete none of Big Pete Akinola’s clergy are allowed to get away with asking those sorts of questions. Besides, it just shows how little GAFCON’s critics understand of international realities.

After all, everyone knows what an affordable city London is to stay in, and I’ve no doubt one can book a Hotel/Conference centre near Heathrow for a fraction of what similar premises cost in Dodoma or Kigali. Not to mention the message of witness this sends to the world: instead of gathering in a safe Christian nation like Rwanda or Nigeria, the Monkeys with the Most have by standing up in violent, corruption-riddled Great Britain shown the world that they are truly are without fear, and ready to, like Christ, identify with the earth’s poor, suffering and marginalised.

What’s more, given the prevalence of HIV/AIDS throughout Africa (who’d have thought Virginia Woolf had so many readers on the Dark Continent?), the trade in London is probably a bit healthier than that in Lagos. Which has got to be an issue for any group of men that obsessed with what people chose to do in the privacy of their own public lavatories.

Yet it’s Brother Richthofen and his friends from Seminary who’ve given me the best explanation of why the Magnificent Seven chose hold their tête à tête in the U.K. As we’ve heard on many occasions from the esteemed Primates themselves, “homosexuality doesn’t exist in Africa”. And no one could possibly expect men this important to stay in a hotel designed, decorated, and managed by straights.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.


Anonymous said...

You neglect to mention, Father, that Mr Jensen is a Travel Agent as well as being a Calvinist Minister. "Jensen Travel" provides Fockers with first-class tickets to anywhere except the poorer nations.

Doorman-Priest said...

Such insight!