Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Hey ho, hey ho; It’s off to Rome we go.

Dearly Beloved Sinners will know that when it comes to realignment I’m happy to sign up with anyone willing to throw a few a few benefits in our direction. Dear me; for a time St. Onuphrius’ was even part of the Hare Krishnas until none of us could stand anymore of the gas all their crappy free curries were giving Evangelical Eric: I’d always thought potatoes and chilies originated in the Americas, so why Vishnu and his fellow multi-armed blue deities are so obsessed with their followers eating these in some moldy combination was something I was never able to ascertain.

Consequently it shouldn’t come as a surprise to I've already begun trying to find out what the Vatican is prepared to offer: news has just broken that they've become the latest group of schismatics to try their hand at grabbing a bit of Anglican property. Mind you, we did pinch most of our assets from them in the first place, and all they seem to be interested in trying to steal is clergy, so it’s not as if they’re after anything particularly valuable. In which case my Curate is bound to be of interest: hopefully he'll fetch at least a few bottles of Chianti and decent pasta.

Unlike the Roman-Romans, it appears the new Canterbury-Romans will be permitted to remain wedded in holy matrimony if they were so entwined prior to their ordination: although whether the ordination to which this refers is the one which Anglicans think valid but Roman’s deny, or the subsequent recognized by Rome but considered superfluous by Christians is something I’m not too clear on.

Then again, there’s a lot about this proposal I’m not too clear on, although there’s one thing of which I am certain: marriage (at least of the kind at which Benny Ratsfinger is prepared to let his boys don their man-lace and officiate) isn’t exactly a big concern with most of the chaps interested in swimming the Tiber. Which is fine with me, but may prove something of a shock to His Holiness a few years down the line. ++Rowan William’s plan to drop one of his largest groups of troublemakers in somebody else’s basket might help him fracture the strange ultra-Evangelical/über-Tractarian alliance that’s been keeping women down, but give them a little time and great many of those switching sides are going to find their closet is still a closet. Just because the new one was made in Rome won’t make it any the less constricting. In fact it might even be a whole lot worse...

I'm Father Christian and I teach the Bible.


Vestavia Fortunoff said...

Since they're not going to let married fellers like Bobby Duncan or Jackie Iker be bishops in their new little club, will there be all that many takers? Surely they won't go if they have to leave their pointy hats at home and of course their lemmings won't leave them behind.

Anonymous said...

Surely the point of being an Anglo-Catholic is to be AGAINST something. Being "more-Catholic-than-Rome" is the reason they exist. All of these 'unmarried' clergy who swim the Tiber will lose their raison d'etre in campaigning against women - there aren't any. And they can hardly denounce gays. That's like shooting themselves in the foot.

Unknown said...

And for the non-bishops who go, you leave your dreams of becoming a bishop behind! This is such genius way to deal with these folks that I wish I'd thought of it! Good luck, fellas... you're gonna love being a third class citizen (although I may have them ranked too high there!

Boaz said...

Pope Benny came up with a plan
To befriend the High-Anglican clan.
"We hate women, like you
We love fancy dress too
And we don't mind the odd Streisand fan."