Friday, November 7, 2008

Fr. Matt Kennedy - Anti-Marriage Liberal!

When it comes to Sodomy the whole world knows I’ll bend over forwards just as fast as the next GAFCON leader in an effort to show I mean business. Yet a sad consequence of the apostasy sweeping our Church has been a marked decline in the number of straight people wanting to get married. Which means, as any orthodox clergyman knows, a corresponding decline in the income one can make conducting weddings.

That’s why I’ve always been a strong supporter of the right for same-sex couples to marry: if the Christians don’t explore new avenues for keeping alive the sacred institution of Marriage we face the very real danger that the god-given and traditional institution of Wedding Surplice Fees might altogether disappear. That was why Bible-believing Christians were called to take a hard line on Proposition 8 - clergy need all the weddings they can get, and the “Yes” campaign was nothing more than an evil liberal plot to prevent honest churches from accessing a large and lucrative customer base.

What I find all the more disturbing is that the resulting (but temporary) victory of the “Yes” liberals hell-bent on destroying Christian ministry appears to have claimed a truly significant prize: young Fr. Kennedy of “Stand Firm” notoriety. As I’ve said before, Fr. Matt has long displayed a laissez-faire attitude to women’s ordination which you can be sure his fellow Gafconeers would rather they didn’t have to keep ignoring, but his latest rant shows the foolish lad has well and truly abandoned a Biblical view of weddings in favor of an evil liberal anti-marriage perspective. I tried to tell him he was heading down a slippery slope by letting women not wear hats, but do you think the fellow would listen? And now look at what’s happened to him…

Not only is the language of his diatribe truly vile, and littered with expressions such as “blind, ugly, disgusting rage”, but he even goes so far to call people “uneducated” and “ignorant”. What’s more, the thrust of Fr. Kennedy’s spittle is directed at a dear member of the St. Onuphrius’ online community. Now I’m not one to make jokes about a person’s speech impediment from the pulpit (unless, of course, they’ve fallen particularly behind in their tithes), but “Happy” Matt+ has been hawking up such a spray that that I’m afraid the rain (“Newcastle Sunshine”) for which the hometown of our dear MadPriest is renown has taken on a decidedly yellow-flecked appearance: this much bile hasn’t been thrown across the Atlantic since the founding fathers decided that if anyone was going to collect taxes it should be them.

Nor are the comments left by Fr. Kennedy’s appalling anti-marriage acolytes any better. Despite being intelligent people (alright, so I’m exaggerating, but most could probably count past 10 without first removing their shoes and socks), none of them seems capable of understanding that the more weddings one conducts the more people that pass through the Church doors, and thus the more people to whom one can minister. Even if one lacks the GAFCON maturity to see a packed congregation in purely monetary terms, at least one ought to be able to see the evangelistic opportunity. Surely even the genius who in response to Fr. MadPriest’s icon of St. Laika ponders “The dog portrait is apparently Laika … That the dog would be on anyone’s website is bizarre” is capable of understanding that much Surely?

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.


Unknown said...

Indeed, posting a picture of a dog on a web site! How revolting!

Further insight into Father Mass Progeny's mindset can be found in another article he penned about incense at the same vile site, in which he states:

"Good Shepherd is the first and only parish I've served. When I arrived in the summer of 2002"

Well, there you have it. A full 6 years on the job.

He still probably pulls out his VTS textbooks and class notes and scrawled liner notes (which probably are filled with thoughts like "YES!, This is what Jesus is all about - Must Preach On This!"). I've been scratching fleas longer than he's been a priest, and I still don't consider myself an expert at that. While he (and his lovely bride) might dispute this, they are green green green. I think the best thing for our seminaries to do is to put resources into cryogenic research whereby they can take the freshly minted priests and place them in suspended animation until they have aged a few years (or decades) and come out a little more ready to listen, a little less ready to judge, and a lot more ready to serve and tell people that God loves them.

As Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel wrote, “When I was younger, I used to admire intelligent people. Now that I am older, I admire kind people.”

Anonymous said...

Is it not time for bible-believing Christians to start marrying dogs? Not only would this provide extra fees, it would show wishy-washy liberals that GAFCONites are long as they are not gay dogs.

Doorman-Priest said...

I tried to be offended, but I couldn't quite manage it.

Anonymous said...

What's the over/under on Matt Kennedy get caught in a compromisinsg position with a Webelo in a public park restroom?

I'll bet the income from that pool could replace some of your missing fees, Fr. Christian.