Sunday, August 17, 2008

A Cry from Little Pete’s Hand-maiden.

A funny little Australian has come right out and said what Bible-believers have all been thinking for some time now: that the Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams and Bishop of Durham Tom “Would you like me to autograph that?” Wright are false teachers.

It’s unclear exactly what role this fellow plays within the Diocese of Sydney. Since his surname is not “Jensen” he can’t be anyone of significance, and is probably just one of the family’s servants, but that a simple domestic has been permitted to speak out like this suggests things have gone badly downhill since the glories of GAFCON and Jerusalem.

Clearly little Pete Jensen has finally realised Great Britain isn’t big enough for two outspoken jet-setting evangelicals, and the failure of British clergy to cast rose petals before his feet wherever he walked on his recent “Look at me – I’m the Genius of GAFCON” tour just prior to Lambeth seems to have left him more than a little miffed. While he expected to be greeted as the Great White Saviour from the South, what he failed to understand is that although Bishop Wright’s fellow Church of England members may often find him a pain in the proverbial, he’s their pain in the proverbial. And they’re not so silly as to think they need to import a second to keep him company.

What’s more, the conservative North American Anglo-Catholics are well aware that if they wanted to be led by a Baptist they’d have appointed Mark Dever as their Bishop years ago. Or maybe Pat Robertson if they felt the need for someone a little more financially creative; but one look at Jack Iker should tell you that’s never going to happen. So with the two largest nations in the degenerate Anglican west off the table, where else can little Pete seek conquests for his empire? Luxembourg maybe? The rest of Australia doesn’t want him anymore than the UK does.

Since the Jensen’s nest of termites has recognized Anglicanism is now ruled by false teachers, I fully expect them to do the honourable thing and leave the Communion, in the process handing back all of their property, assets and investments. Unless like me they can admit that’s no way to remain in the lifestyle to which one’s grown accustomed.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.


Frank Remkiewicz aka “Tree” said...

Fr. Christian:
As is often the case I found a little ditty just for "little Pete". You asked where he might be going_- perhaps this answers that question.
There's a crazy little shack beyond the tracks
And ev'rybody calls it the sugar shack
Well, it's just a coffeehouse and it's made out of wood
Expresso coffee tastes mighty good
That's not the reason why I've got to get back
To that sugar shack, whoa baby
To that sugar shack.

There's this cute little girlie, she's a'workin' there
A black leotard and her feet are bare
I'm gonna drink a lotta coffee, spend a little cash
Make that girl love me when I put on some trash
You can understand why I've got to get back
To that sugar shack, whoa baby
To that sugar shack, yeah honey
To that sugar shack, whoa yes
To that sugar shack.

Now that sugar shack queen is a'married to me, yeah yeah
We just sit around and dream of those old memories
Ah, but one of these days I'm gonna lay down tracks
In the direction of that sugar shack
Just me and her yes we're gonna go back
To that sugar shack,
Whoa uh oh To that sugar shack, yeah honey
To our sugar shack


Yeh, yeh, yeh, our sugar shack
Jimmy Gilmer

Anonymous said...

When the C of E decided to sell off +Tom Wright's palatial residence, the humble evangelical protested so loudly the authorities relented. It may have to do with the fact that his humble Palace contains paintings worth £20million. Clearly, Fatso is staying put to guard his pictures and his vast library - written of course by himself. Since there's no space for two Popes, Jensen will have to go.

Leonard said...

Dear Dr. Troll, "Kick Ass" Awards have been announced and you are THE BIG WINNER (it wasn't really a surprise to any of us who saw the nominations sent by special secret messenger to The Crown Nominating Committee, God Save The Queens).

You've once again proven what true and righteous leadership is all about.

GAFCON:The Reverend Doctor Christian Troll

There will be a lavish awards ceremony/Gala Ball (and a fat envelope under your plate) and lots of exciting and colorful entertainment...please feel free to bring the Bishop if he has sufficiently recovered from that nasty Flenge relapse.

MadPriest said...

As you know, I'm no fan of the Family Firm as they have an annoying habit of coming over here and getting our people excited about stuff and it takes weeks to get them docile again.
However, I must admit they they have hit the nail on the head this time and that I am extremely happy to lend my support to the motion, "Tom Wright and Rowan Williams are false teachers." It's what I've been saying all along.

Wormwood's Doxy said... THAT's where little Gordon Cheng ran off to. I quit visiting Ship of Fools for a while, and he's apparently stopped posting.

I guess he doesn't get any of the pushback on his own blog that he got there. Much nicer to work in an echo chamber, I'm sure.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Yes dear Miss Doxie: I have it on good authority that Gordon Cheng is now loyally following his diocese's official policy of preaching only to the converted-but-insecure. Which is, of course, an entirely Biblical strategy.