Friday, August 1, 2008

Lambeth - an S&M Hotbed

If there’s one thing all this Lambeth fuss teaches us, it’s that the Archbishop of Canterbury has a strange masochistic streak. By that I don’t mean the sort of youthful high jinks that Brother Richthofen’s friends from Seminary get up to, with their funny leather costumes and studded paddles, but a really deep-seated desire to be psychologically pushed around and insulted.

Really, why else would he keep asking senior toadies from a church not his own, and which doesn’t even recognise his own Holy Orders, let alone his office as Grand Tufti of All that is Anglican, to come and tell him and his Bishops how they’re doing everything wrong? What on earth does the Big Cheese of Cantaur expect: that someone who delights in kissing the Pope’s ring on a daily basis is going to say “You Anglicans are all the greatest Ministers of God since the Holy Spirit guided Cranmer’s marriage counselling sessions with Henry VIII?”

As the World’s Finest Parish Priest and Bible-teacher I’ve got to say I’ve never met anyone who contributes to my offertory because of what some Cardinal says or doesn’t say. The Romans are a colourful lot, and they can certainly teach us a tremendous deal about treating women as second-class citizens, but at the end of the day anything they might say is secondary to our real business of building profitable and successful parishes. And listening to them tell us over and over how we’re getting it all wrong because we’re not doing things their way isn’t going to help me or anyone else build a Jacuzzi in the manse.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.


Frank Remkiewicz aka “Tree” said...

Dear, dear Fr. Christian -- Having lost our parishes, our diocese and many of our own bishops are we now about to lose our senses?
This clearly about renewing our commitment to Charleton Heston, I mean Moses. Remember how in the movie Moses parted the Red Sea? Well, the ABC wants his Red Sea parted so that we can all get into the promsied land and clearly no one can part anything quite like The three stooges: Akinola, Venables and Jensen. And by the way, a great fund raiser would be to show the Ten Commandments and charge a quid to each parishioner in the diocese of Pittsburgh and Fort Worth.

Counterlight said...

I wonder who owns that picture of ++Rowan in bed with a live boy or a dead girl?

Anonymous said...

Perhaps, Dr Troll, a short historical analysis may throw some small light on your lucid article.
+Rowan WASN'T EVEN BORN when Ratzinger and Kasper had childhood dreams of the Third Reich. Traumatised by German defeat, they seek power by the ecclesiastical route.
Kasper knew that, had he been addressing any denomination other than the amassed Anglican Forces, he would have been shot for rubbishing them as Protestant infidels.
But since his address was given in England, he was offered polite applause, followed by a nice cup of tea.

Anonymous said...

Well, at least the conference group was spared a personal appearance by that ghastily know the one who looks as ugly/mean as his thoughts! Makes one shudder, but then, perhaps they will invite +VG Robinson to their College of Cardinals and let him share his REAL LIFE religious experiences too...most of them will silently be able to "understand completely" before they order another round of persecution, excluding and hate...always turn a negative into a positive is my matter the cost.

Fr. Elvin Higgenbottom "Fritz" Gold

Unknown said...

RC Women as second class citizens? Surely you jest! Let's do the counting:

1) Priests
2) Nuns
3) Male laity
4) Female laity

So as I figure it, regular women are not second class citizens, not even close. As a small test, see how long it will take them to recognize Mother Teresa as saint material compared to the fastpath treatment of the last chowderhead in the papal slot. As I remember, the word when she died was that it might be difficult to find any recorded instances of her healing someone.

But I'll hand them one thing, they indirectly end up making some fine Episcopalians when the church tells them the equivalent of Like It or Lump It.

June Butler said...

If there’s one thing all this Lambeth fuss teaches us, it’s that the Archbishop of Canterbury has a strange masochistic streak.

Fr Christian, may I say, "AMEN!"? Or would you prefer a check in the mail?