Tuesday, November 18, 2008

...one day at Stand Firm headquarters.

Another secret conversation recorded by my contacts:


"Viagraville Headquarters - Father Matt Kennedy speaking..."

"Matt – it’s God speaking. I want to..."

"GOD!! Wow! You must be so proud of us here. We’ve reduced everything about you to just a few lines of doctrine, and we’re about to found a new province to keep all the queers out, and I’m..."

"Matt! I’m calling about your internet site.
You need to have more pictures..."

"More Pictures??! No God: we concentrate on words - they’re at the heart of our faith. That’s why people like me always have our photo taken in front of some old and impressive looking books."

"I said you need pictures!"

"But God – I’ve been in ministry a whole six years and know everything about serving you. Pictures don’t teach anyone about Jesus."

"No, that’s not right. Here’s a picture of someone very close to me – put it up at Viagraville to help people understand me better."

"Lord!! That’s not you! That’s the teh gay boy who was..."

"I know exactly who it is - he's sitting close by me as we're talking. Listen! Do you want people to know me or not?
Would you rather use a picture of this person instead?"

... Click..

"Father Matt? ... Hello?"


June Butler said...

Fr Christian, what is happening to you? You've changed. What a moving post. Thank you.

Unknown said...

Bravo, Father Christian, bravo!

Think he'll get it?

Anonymous said...

It´s the story of Dorkington Killowatt and his Spiritual Experience that could have been but was shorted out after Gods message was starting to sink in...si, es la verdad...Fr. Mouth-Is-Quicker than a Orombi visit aka Canon Shifty Hauloffwithit (in waiting) doesn´t want to to listen to any false GOOD NEWS nor inspiring TRUTH...not Shifty the tantrum throwing disconnected know it all...it´s only when he´s PREACHING and hanging about, and out, with those who regress, depress and cause even more stress at Church that ¨shorty¨ Dorkington moves quickly as quick as a can-can...do you really think shifty ¨shorty¨ doesn´t think he ALREADY KNOWS Gods Will and has been doing it for SIX freak´n years? Shifty tells everyone he personally knows, or not, what God knows because THE WORD was earnestly delivered to him by God (who also utilized the Saints once delivered, Pete ¨Hooligan¨ Akinola, Vulnerable Vacables for personal, person to person delivery)...why take a telephone call from the ¨Almighty¨ when it´s obviously a liberal in God disguise whining about a aledged hate crime?

Besides, having compassion for the victim is soooo tiresome when a bonafide fisherman has other, and bigger, bigoted fish to fry...spunky speedie Dorkington had a really IMPORTANT call from Kenya on ¨call¨ waiting...must´n keep a real God waiting?

Mercy me.

Blamington Suppley Phipps-Goodingcon, III

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

He'll get it eventually, my dear Bishop. Although whether or not that happens in this life is debatable...

Wormwood's Doxy said...


Anonymous said...

OK, of the two men pictured in today's entry, which do you think looks gayer?

IT said...

This is all striking close to home. It's their ability to dehumanize the "other" that is remarkable.

Being married to a woman of faith, I contemplate when I lost it. I suspect it had something to do with my realization that "christians" aren't the least bit "christlike". THe greatest of these is love? No, the greatest of these is how-to-oppress "the other".

IT, feeling cynical and under attack

Anonymous said...

Thanx for publishing that photo of Fr. Progeny--now that I have seen him his obsession with homosexuality makes a lot more sense!

KJ said...

No, IT, the greatest of these is to be right in one's own eyes. All the rest is gravy.

I'm thinking this doesn't help with the cynicism much.