Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Clarification re: Peter Ould.

In response to the countless aggrieved Scientologists who’ve complained that a recent homily implied little Peter Ould had embraced Dianetics®, I would like to categorically state he is no way associated with your nasty cult, and his behaviour is entirely the by-product of his involvement with an equally nasty pseudo-religious entity: Gnostic Anglo-Baptist Puritanism, a soul-destroying brew more commonly known as Jensen Export®.

My reference to Scientology® was purely within the context of little Peter’s enthusiastic adoption of your founder’s cavalier approach to litigation, and it was never my intention to suggest Petie had been accepted as a member of your ‘Church’, nor that you would ever consider admitting him . I fully appreciate that not all spiteful power-hungry cults are entirely bereft of standards, and that groups such as SPREAD, ACNA and the Anglican Diocese of Sydney, should not be considered as representative of your own organization, irrespective of the obvious similarities.

I’m Father Christian and Xenu* loves you.

*Xenu fulfills a similar role in the Scientological pantheon as that occupied by little Peter Jensen within Anglicanism. Except little Peter Jensen is real. Sort of.


Anonymous said...

Dear Dr Troll
I am an avid collector of "cease and desist" letters in the way other people collect memorabilia. Do you think I may receive another if I assert "Scientologists are mad"?
So far I haven't been sent many of these collectors-items to hang on my vestry wall.

Anonymous said...

Well, it is perfectly reasonable for the $cientologists to resent being compared to the Oulds.

Who can blame them?

Anonymous said...

I have received a kind invitation today from Dobby's clone to report him to his Bishop for being a a pain in the rectum. It would be wonderful if Anglicans world-wide wrote to Ouldie's Father-in-God in appreciation of the hundreds of gays he has cured.

Grateful Former Homosexualist said...

Under the good parson's guidance, I threw away my Judy Garland records and got a lifetime Playboy subscription!

Frank Remkiewicz aka “Tree” said...

Since we are talking about having an ould time, and of course playboy seems to have come into the conversation justg what does SPREAD do?