Friday, May 1, 2009

Ban the Blog!

Over at a certain place that most of us follow like crack whores, there’s been an interesting discussion in the comments of this post about a Guardian columnist and alleged vicar of Putney, Fr. Giles Fraser .

The cause of the trouble seems to have something to do with the pernicious medium of blogging, a long cherished concern of mine that Ruth Gledhill of The Timesran with after a Viagravillain dared call her a ”an instrument of evil”.

Of course a more cynical man than I can’t help thinking that the Rev. Guardian only picked this topic up because he was running a little pressed for time, and toadying to a fellow journalist seemed a quick way of finding a few hundreds word, but that is not correct. Nor is there any truth behind theories that ensuring one continues to receive good press in the The Times plays an important part achieving those aspirations involving the colour purple but not Whoopi Goldberg.

No, the Rev. Guardian is quite correct; the world of blogging is indeed a terrible place, where anyone with access to a computer can ridicule and expose the pompous, hypocritical and power-hungry for what they are. Unlike the physical world, where people express themselves with fists, knives and the wonderfully expressive product range offered by British Aerospace, the blogosphere involves people fighting with words, ideas, and (in the case of the occasional Viagravillain), the barely-coherent products of a spittle-flecked keyboard.

What’s more, blogging entirely by-passes the pockets of such noble pillars of society as Ruth Gledhill’s boss, enabling people to say anything they want regardless of who they happen to not be afraid to laugh at. Much as I love little David Virtue, I’ll be the first to say not even he reaches the delightful moral pinnacles of the man Ruth is actively helping to make richer, and if instead of foolishly reading and writing blogs more people spent their time viewing his newspapers, magazines and television programs, and absorbing the informative advertisements these are proud to carry for a not insubstantial fee, there can be no doubt the world would be a much better place. Or at least it would be for Ruth’s boss.

The whole blog thing should be shut down immediately. All of it. This business of letting people speak for themselves, airing the “ideas” normally only expressed in the privacy of their ever-diminishing congregations, is disgraceful. Opinions should be restricted to those who can be trusted to never say anything too challenging. Everyone else should just shut up and listen. Perhaps if they behave themselves especially well they might also be given the privilege of writing important newspaper columns that never question the morality of those actually running our world.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.


June Butler said...

But Fr Christian, without your blog, how will we hear from you? How will we receive your wisdom on how we should act and how we should think? I, for one, will be lost, adrift.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

My dear child - as a GAFCON leader there's no way any of what I say actually applies to me. My vocation is to tell others what to do - not to apply any of it to myself or my friends.

June Butler said...

What a relief!

Canon Itchy said...

Fr: You've outdone yourself with this line: "Over at a certain place that most of us follow like crack whores..." Almost spilled the martini and have to admit that my new google chrome browser has listed Viagraville as one of my favorites. At least we can keep score of the Northern Michigan consent process there. Blessed Sunday and a Good Shepherd "bah" to some!

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

And the same to you my child!

Anonymous said...

I have been accused of being a "cyber-stalker" by a viagran blogger named "Ould". Although I deny I have made any unkind remarks about his wonderful blog, I wish to apologise unreservedly for any derogatory comments I have made about this wholesome Sydney curate. The silly Calvinist prat.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

I suspect he's just upset that you're not stalking him in the flesh, but only on the internet. Little Peter Jensen's serfs get lonely when their master is off flitting around the world.

When you next speak to him could please have him ask his brother - the one who posts gays - where Brother Richthofen's is. He's been checking the letterbox every day for weeks now, and there's still no sign of the delivery he believes he was promised.

Unknown said...

Whilst Father Heron may be upset with the epithet "cyber-stalker", +I have been called far worse - a "popular liberal blogger" by Ould! I wish to clear this up, once and for all.

First, I can assure you that I am not at all popular. Oh sure, the dogs like me, and some cats, but by and large +I remain as popular as KJS at a Nigerian Communion Service.

And I think I've established a good case for being a satirist, not a liberal blogger, with pomposity of all flavours being lampooned.

And lastly, I am actually an "ex-blogger", having enrolled in a weekly 12-step "Bloggers Anonymous" program with an "ex-Facebook" meeting on the first and third Tuesdays of each month.

Nevertheless, I remain a simple dog of God even as +I transition into this new life of simple monastic pleasures, devoid of my blogs and my Facebook minute-by-minute postings. I entrust the harpooning of the ego-bloated to Father Heron and Father Christian, who have proven themselves equal to the task ahead.

MadPriest said...

The Gospels were the blogs of their day. And the authorities of the time should have done more to stamp them out than they did. It's no good just nailing one bloke to a tree and hoping all his hangers on will fall off. That excellent statesman of our time, George W. Bush understood this and you only have to look at Iraq today to see the righteousness of strong leadership by those who selflessly devote their lives to helping the weak and powerless recognise the error of their ways.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Quite right, my dear Father. This must be why little Peter Jensen has banned the Gospels in his realm, and restricted his serfs to using only the Law and Pauline Epistles.