Sunday, May 31, 2009

Guest Blogger: Bishop N.T. "Tom" Wright

While not having the privilege of knowing Father Christian personally, there was a fortunate vacancy in my diary between a engagement to address to telemarketers in Mumbai, and an invitation to preside at the opening of an envelope in Helsinki, so rather than return to Durham I was delighted to be able to help out here by standing in for a Biblical Scholar with a even larger balance in their frequent-flyer point account than my own. Although I’m better at ending every paragraph with a short rhetorical statement.

But perhaps instead you think my real forte is opening new paragraphs with a similarly succinct rhetorical question? That too is a possibility, but the real issue before us should be ‘What did Paul think?’ On one level that’s irrelevant, because what matters far more within the framework of a contemporary biblical paradigm is that people read my latest best-selling exegetical reconstruction of what I think, yet verse 12 clearly indicates we are to understand this in terms of the Deuteronomic milleau permeating first century neo-hellenism.

Paul didn’t write nearly as many books as I have. Not that it makes him any less important, you should understand, but the heraldic imperative implicit to his work draws extempore transliterators to the conundrum of post-exile Israel. Hence I begin where Romans begins – with the Gospel. Would you like me to sign that for you?

This, then, is the extant dynamic framework. Ministry begins in the comfortable end of an aeroplane, wherein the propositional sense of the initiative may be considered substantive. The Reverend Doctor Troll, and indeed, the fabric of the post-GAFCON schematic itself, understands this. I, for one am in support, albeit with palpable qualifications. Not that these can be felt in any ontological-determinative way. There’s simply no need for that.

The Ordo Salvatus has always incorporated the selling of books. Promotional tours comprise an a priori element of the existential application of this process, one we see reflected in Paul’s own journeys. Venditio iter itineris is an expression not normally encountered in Classical Latin scholarship, and which can be loosely translated as meaning “sales trip”. To do so, however, is to detract from the gravitas paramount to this vocation, the purpose of which is in turn to detract from baser obligations of the Episcopacy per se to support the clergy of my diocese in their ipso facto obligation to drag unwilling parishioners through the church door each Sunday.

Like me, Father Christian teaches the Bible. Although I believe he does so in a language people actually speak.


Frank Remkiewicz aka “Tree” said...

Dear visiting New Testament Tom,
If you begin where Romans begins why did you not start with, "Okay, who wants to be crucified today?" That is where the Romans began. It seems to me that that is also where the GAFCON people begin. "Which/Who among those lgbt folks would like to be crucified?"
I think you are not nearly as well versed in the Bible as you might think. In fact, much like Big and Little Pete I believe you believe yourself to be "a legend in your own mind."
But, thanks for sitting in, and oh don't look now but United just cut your frequent flyer miles in half! oh, darn, the recession strikes again!

Leonard said...

Good Morning, buenas dias a todos, let´s start with a little glad handing, a hug-a-thon and follow that up quickly with a triple plated offertory prayers and a coffee hour (donated donuts por favor)...oh, silly me-ist, I know that many of you-ist were rivited to the wordsless, wordiness, examples of spiritual bliss and informative religious factoid massaging that have touched our lives here at GAFCON, Land of Saints, Sacrifices for the Common, and dancing into the night/daylight. Thanks to Reverend Wrong-ways latest booklike review and self-grandizing upload bloat we can start the day/daze all perky. Nothing like attempted pleasantries and savvylike pomposity to make one alert on Sunday Morning/Mourning and think about mowing the lawn, making Roast Beef and Yorkshire Pudding and enjoying another one of Gods GORGEOUS moments...yes, we´re alive...Thanks be to God.

Cany said...

Would you care to translate any of that drivel into English, please?


JimB said...

Telephone conversation overheard by a spy:

Secretary: Hello! Bishop Wright's office.

Archbishop of Canterbury: This is Rowan Williams. May I speak to the bishop?

Secretary: I am dreadfully sorry your grace but he is not taking calls. He is writing a book.

Archbishop: That is no problem I will hold.


June Butler said...

Bishop Wright, in my adult Sunday school class we watched a DVD featuring you speaking interspersed with a silent movie showing how Jesus danced and had an all around good time. Then, it showed Jesus hanging out with the outcasts. But I knew about your views on gay folks in the church, and something just didn't add up.

I had to take a time-out to think about it all, and lo! - before I knew it, the series was over. I'm sorry I only got to watch the one DVD. Maybe you can explain this seeming contradiction to me.

Anonymous said...

My Lord Bishop, you won't know me as I am a priest in the Durham Diocese. Recently, I built an extension onto my Church,with full toilet facilities. I was wondering if you might do us the honour of coming here to dedicate our new building. Would you be back in the Diocese in, say, 2020? Since my parishioners haven't heard of you, I thought of calling our new erection the "NT Wright Lavatory" to remind them that they have a Bishop, each time they go to the Toilet. If I haven't heard from you by 2019, I shall ask Dr Troll to bless our Rest Room next time he's in England Chairing a GAFCON Summit.

Alan Rogers said...

I really don't believe this!!!
Bishop Wright was a guest at Grace Cathedral's Forum several years ago, and although he is conservative, he got along well with Alan Jones, the dean and the audience seemed to appreciate him.
Has this blog gotten nasty real fast, or have I been missing something all along???

Lapinbizarre said...

"Has this blog gotten nasty real fast?"

Thanks, Alan.

susan s. said...

Well he does spend a lot of time outside his diocese.