Saturday, May 23, 2009

The Secret Colorado Conspiracy.

In the face of little Don Armstrong’s outrageous persecution it is heartening to see him and his undiscerning faithful holding fast to the GAFCON tradition of always blaming one’s own woes on others .

Having had my attention drawn to their statement by no less a source than David Virtue’s bountiful bosom, I couldn’t help but feel warm stirrings in my heart as one man’s trifling difficulties over a paltry half-million or so are reasserted as “these attempts to silence our parish’s stand for biblical truth”, thereby exposing the Presiding Bishop and her apostate liberal minions’ direct control of the Colorado criminal justice system.

It’s not well known, but there is good evidence (well actually it’s not really so good – Bishop Quinine was told by voices he heard after eating a open jar of 3 week-old salsa he found in the back of the pantry – but let’s run with it anyway) that every single traffic infringement notice in Denver is issued as a result of direct instructions received from a secret control room in the New York city Episcopal Church Center. Not only that, but another department in that same building has taken control of water temperatures in Hot Sulphur Springs, gradually lowering them as part of an ungodly plan to rename the place “Lukewarm Sulphur Springs”. And what these depraved perverts have in mind for the town of Hygiene, Boulder County is more than I’m prepared to publish in a family blog like this one.

In addition I especially like the way little Don’s temple isn’t offering an apology and consolation to the community they’ve divided through this delightfully sordid tale: it’s all about defending “our priest and ourselves from these untruths”. When combined with a nice passive-aggressive reference to “individuals with financial oversight, responsibilities, and check writing authority through the years from both churches” that makes no mention of the fact that it's not all the checks that are a problem, just the ones for large amounts made out to a certain former clergyman, the result is the most consummate act of buck-passing since Watergate. Except that in comparison to this bunch of brain-washed believers Nixon and CREEP were trustworthy.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.


Frank Remkiewicz aka “Tree” said...

Father Christian,
You are on fire today!

Joan Lucia-Treese said...

NOTHING that comes out of the mouth of Don Armstrong or his congregation surprises any of us in C.S.!

david virtue's bountiful bosom said...

Clearly the homosexuals have penetrated the Colorado judicial system!

JimB said...

Coincidentally, I just posted a blog entry on framing arguments.

It is dishonest to claim that somehow the State of Colorado cares what the PB or national TEC staff thinks of Mr. Armstrong and his sycophants. The argument is about obeying trust documents and the law. But they wont frame it that way. Even when if he is, Mr. Armstrong is convicted, they will see the "secret conspiracy" between Colorado's courts and what they derisively call "815."

What they wont do is what grown ups do -- face their own conduct. Of course the recipients of a good bit of the loot wont do something else -- cross the border from Canada.


Cany said...

Facing the facts is not a trait we humans do well until the cell door (for instance) hits us in the butt.

I was told a story years ago that goes like this:

In a particular Arabic language, there is no way to accept responsibility for certain things. For instance, if you get to the train a bit late and it is gone, the train left without you. You did not "miss" the train. If a child falls and hits his head on the table edge, the table hit the child (that is a mental picture!).

I cannot prove the veracity of the story as I don't know the language, but it came from a person who does, so it has always stayed with me.

So here, again, it is teh gays that made Armstrong do it (assuming the allegations are true and something must look possibly true for the Grand Jury to return an indictment). It was obviously the only proper and appropriate reaction given teh gays.

But wait, there's more! (ding, ding, ding!)

That uppity PB of ours who believes a woman can actually do things like pray, discern, think. You know, the little things, without a band of merry men to help.

I have often wondered how they view Mary (yes THAT Mary) who God spoke to and who was to discern the will of God. I can only assume they don't believe her capable, all things being equal, which would make Jesus a terrible mistake.

In a world where conspiracies do exist at times, it is clear that 815 is in fact responsible for all of this and I suspect Father T (Jake), now that he is a part of this bunch, is directly at fault. I mean he DID come from central California so there is no way he cannot be involved. Fred is probably deeply invovled too, despite his effectual means to look so innocent.

Leonardo is DEFINITELY involved because Fred and Leonardo are tight and since Leonardo lives in a foreign country where surely he is subversive. That is perfectly clear.

I thank God daily that you are here to show us the way. I couldn't possibly understand ANY of this without you being a mere wimmin type.

Leonard said...

¨Leonardo is DEFINITELY involved because Fred and Leonardo are tight and since Leonardo lives in a foreign country where surely he is subversive. That is perfectly clear.¨ Cany

Yes, a subversive older White Boy who went to college in the San Francisco Bay Area early 60´s (and wasn´t a Hippy but a Fraternity boy), born in the Pacific Northwest, grew up in Los Angeles, Received the Jeweled ¨N¨ at High School Graduation and went to Church everysunday...I also spent much of my subversive, white, middleclass, youth listening to stupid buttheads like Donnie say nasty things about LGBT people...I didn´t peep because I didn´t want my face (or worse) beaten in and I wanted to remain popular (sort of a cowardly manipulator combo)...boy, that never made me feel better or improved my self-esteem or anything and I almost drank myself to, now I´m sober and pissed as HELL and I´m not going to take exploiting, discriminating, persecuting, smearing and slander anymore (and it looks like my friend Fred isn´t up for it either even though he is a heterosexual...that´s truly subversive...verdad?).

Am I subversive? Don´t be silly, I was a Cub Scout (who earned all his badges)!

Joan Lucia-Treese said...

Here's the latest news... KKTV, Channel 11 reported on its 10 O'Clock news this evening that Don Armstrong FAILED to appear in court today for his first hearing on the criminal charges. There is a warrant out for his arrest. KKTV's website, unfortunately, does not carry the story. Stay tuned... more to come...

Joan Lucia-Treese said...

Story now on

Here's the story...