Bishop Duncan of Pittsburgh Pennsylvania is fine man, even though he is a Bishop. I have in the past always considered him someone who truly embodies the spirit of GAFCON: where lesser men focus on the Father’s love, or on the transformational power of Christ’s incarnation, Bishop Duncan has always shown a clear understanding that hatred of Sodomites is at the very heart of the Gospel. A man who has never been ashamed to put his own needs first, nor to criticize the foul speck in another’s eye irrespective of any plank in his own, I have never before had anything but praise for him as a faithful pillar of the Church.
Yet lately I have grown disappointed in my dear friend, and the sin into which he has fallen is in fact one which a number of people have written – particularly the lovely EPfizH: that of issues concerning Ministry Discretionary Funds.
Now blessed Father Armstrong of Grace St. Stephens in Colorado Springs used to be the leading expert on this subject, until he too lost sight of the most important aspect of discretionary Funds - they must be kept discrete!
It’s no use how much you’ve managed to squirrel away, nor how much property you’ve managed to transfer into your own name, if other people can then find out about it and start making a noise. The whole point of these things is that other people must know nothing about them – or else how can you expect people to believe you and keep giving when you cry poor? Nor is enough to try and disguise your acquisitions through “life-time deeds” and interest-free loans. If you fail to be discrete and word gets out you might as well just kiss the trough goodbye, because you can be certain that’s the last time anyone’s going to let your snout get anywhere near it.
No, much as I admire Bishop Duncan I must admit my allegiance in that part of the world has shifted to Bishop Clumber. Not only is he better educated and more trustworthy than Bishop Duncan, but as a dog he has the good sense to bury any bones he should come across, instead of leaving them laying around for people like Father Jake to discover and expose. Allowing someone like him to draw attention to important traditional aspects of ministry (like the time-honored practice of “tickling the offertory plate”) just spoils things for everyone.
I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.