Tuesday, June 24, 2008

GAFCON Pilgrims Turning Liberal.

It’s no secret that I love a Banning. Excluding, shaming and casting out sinners is one of the great joys of being a Bible-believing Christian. Yet few things are more distressing for a Teacher of my standing than to see a good thing spoiled by incompetence. Which, I regret to say, is exactly the only way to describe how Big Pete and his Pilgrims have mishandled the important task of preventing undesirables from raining on their Jerusalem parade.

Shunning someone from the Fellowship of the Righteous is supposed to leave them humiliated and rejected in an amusing foretaste of their eternal torture at the hands of Our Loving Father. It’s something to be feared; under no circumstances do you want people asking to be Banned.

Clearly Big Pete and his Pilgrims have forgotten the cardinal rule of Banning: Only ever pick on the sensitive, weak or vulnerable. Anyone else will simply laugh at you, which makes you look ridiculous.

It stuns me that those who have in the past shown they clearly know more than a thing or two about crushing the unworthy could have made such an elementary mistake. Remember, we’re not talking about amateurs here, but men who actively admire Robert Mugabe - and who've met and blessed him. Men for whom the words “cut and thrust” are not mere rhetoric, but part of the process by which they convinced others to let them wear the colourful hat and give their friends all the top jobs (or in the Australians’ case, wear the polyester-rayon business suit and put their family members on the payroll).

No, this is simply not good enough. Where are the voices of rebuke? Don't they realise the world is crying out for an example of God’s wrath? Where are the sobbing reprobates who find themselves stuck in Jerusalem because the church has thrown them out and cashed in their return ticket? Where is the judgement??? Instead all we have is a paltry list of eight people not allowed into the hall - and six of them aren’t even on the same continent!. The whole think reeks of liberal inclusivity to me, and frankly I’m appalled.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

13 comments :

+clumber said...

It also seems to me that the Jerusalem Conference has gone off course as well. It is beginning to resemble a rugby scrum more than a unified team effort. They've seemingly stripped the term "schism" of any meaning at all, and apparently this effort has become more vacation than anything else.

In the land of ultimate street theater, I suggest they get back on those buses and head on over to Masada (making sure to pick up that lone gay guy wandering around and Ruth Gledhill to report the scene) and take all of the conference up the cable car (would't do to have anyone pass out from the strenuous hike up the paths), and then recreate the scene of old, complete with Father Progeny and Hostilium live blogging the attacks upon the True Believers by Ian. Perhaps they could even print up 8 masks of the other banned so we could get a real sense of the attacks that have been launched against them. They might even be able to get the Gay Pride parade to co-operate and march around the old fortifications below Masada to show us all how isolated and under attack the Orthodox truly are!

These people really are showing how amateurish they are. Five months of planning and $2.5 million and this is all they've got? Some Aussie bloke stepping in to speak for Big Pete when he is confronted? Eight banned people? Come on people! Where's the creativity? Where's the crescendo of excitement? Friday's coming, how about Big Pete leads the Stations of the Cross making it clear how oppressed they are? He's become a sock-puppet for Jensen!

Grandmère Mimi said...

It seems likely that the "out" group will become the "in" group. The priest who will serve as the bishop of Jerusalem's chaplain, Robert Edmunds, is on the banned list. You called it, Fr Christian - sheer incompetence on their part.

David |däˈvēd| said...

Reports around the blogoshere now place six of the banned Jerusalem Eight actually in Jerusalem, a couple perhaps even as close as the hotel lobby.

Erika Baker said...

The hotel lobby? Then the singing must have started!

Leonardo Ricardo said...

Shhh...Shhh, don't expose the lovely lady in the waitress uniform wearing the Glitter Goldsprayed Bishop Mr. Peanut Head Brooch...she's over there near the Cocoloco Bar and nobody suspects, nothing anyway nohow. Silence is golden...loose lips sink ships and remember, we are dealing with people who don't know what to expect!!! Got it?

Anonymous said...

I hear that there's a Major Lesbian casing the joint, just waiting for an opportunity to storm the ramparts with a bloodcurdling Amazonian battle cry.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Reports around the blogoshere now place six of the banned Jerusalem Eight actually in Jerusalem, a couple perhaps even as close as the hotel lobby.

Since when has Banning been supposed to bring the vicitms Closer! Anyone would think Big Pete wants to catch Gay cooties! And he's not just atracting the Gay lobby - now it seems the Hotel lobby has arrived. At this rate he's soon going to be dealing with an entire Shopping Mall lobby.

...words can't describe how disappointed I am with the disgrace that's been brought upon the fine name of GAFCON.

Ann said...

There are now 375 people who are clamoring to be Banned --- according to Facebook.

Ann said...

btw the large "woman" in a red dress and straw hat is rumored to be none other than the chief nemesis of a certain virtue-less one.

Erika Baker said...

Make that 376, I just cannot get Facebook to sign me up so I can sign up!

Robert said...

I want to be banned too, but don't want to sign up for facebook.

+clumber said...

Technically, that's 375 people and one dog.

David |däˈvēd| said...

Not everyone has a foto, so there could be a number of "dogs" in the bunch and we will never know!