Wednesday, June 25, 2008

GAFCON – Jerusalem Update

As the whole world knows by now, Big Pete Akinola has been making such a fool of himself in Jerusalem that ‘Bishop’ (chuckle) Martyn Minns has finally come to his senses, and realised it’s easier to practise ventriloquism with a Howdy Doody doll than with a large and unmanageable African Prelate. This means the only person still prepared to help the Nabob of Nigeria deliver speeches which don’t involve the use of threats and a machete is Little Pete Jensen from Sydney Australia.

So far, however, I must say that I’ve been less than impressed with the result. Clearly it’s been a long time since Little Pete spoke to audience not solely comprised of his relatives, and ordering critics’ legs broken might meet the definition of “hands on ministry” in Sydney, but the rest of the world isn’t going to see things in quite the same way. And since subtlety has never been Big Pete’s strong suite, it’s not as if he can be trusted to hit the brakes when his Australian driver veers over to the wrong side of the road.

All of which makes watching things in Jerusalem positively depressing. All we need now is for one of Little Pete’s entourage to scream “Lay Administration” in a moment of passion (everyone knows how sound travels through hotel walls, and the Australian pilgrims are well known for their peculiar tastes) and the ensuing fighting will make the rest of the world think that one of Hal Lindsey’s predictions have finally come true (it has to happen eventually), and Armageddon really has started on the Temple Mount.

My own GAFCON mission? Well that’s another story, but needless to say it’s running smoother than a Bush-family oil company. But then again, every here knows why that is…

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

5 comments :

3MinuteTheologian (Justin Lewis-Anthony) said...

"Nabob of Nigeria deliver speeches which don’t involve the use of threats and a machete"

Sheer, sheer brilliance, Fr CT!

(but aren't you giving too much away?)

+clumber said...

Little Pete's effectiveness hasn't been the same since he had that run in with the young newsman who was attempting to clarify Leviticus. The youtube video left him a battered old man (who apparently found the reporter quite attractive, I should note).

So we are left with Hostilium's parenting tips, and Father Progeny's odd little parable of this morning where someone tried to steal his ring, his wife and his child. It's like GAFCON is evolving into a new Home and Garden channel for TV. I'm just sorry for you, Father Christian, that they have managed to make the word GAFCON such an embarrassment! Perhaps next time (and here I'm off on a flight of fantasy that there will be a "next time") they will bring you in early as a consultant (with a nice retainer!) as to how to properly plan a conference/pilgrimage/vacation!

Ann said...

Are you keeping company with a certain Mad one from Newcastle?
btw- It was the "nattering nabobs of negatavism" when a former VP of the US used it.

Leonardo Ricardo said...

It was bound to happen. Simply unavoidable in the despicable mix of things...we've been re-PETE-ed (as if one wasn't enough...yuk)

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

I must confess I was saddened by Fr. Progeny's plaintive cry. While I realise Hostilium must be hard to live with at times, asking for her to get stolen seems a bit much. As is giving her to a friend: he should know friends have more respect for each other than that.