Well, it’s the 18th of June and only four more sleeps to go until the big show begins. To make sure everything goes smoothly I’ve insisted all the other clergy from parishes surrounding Ichabod Springs have left for Jerusalem early: this way they’ll be nice and refreshed so as to get the most out of things.
Admittedly a few were less than enthusiastic, but I dragged the last one on to a plane today. A notorious liberal, our bishop was devastated to hear he had also decided to attend, but not as devastated as the recalcitrant Priest and his family will be when the medication wears off and they discover the flight didn’t take them to Disneyland after all. Still, when it comes to ministry the end always justifies the means. Just ask Fr. “Popgun” Conger.
In fact things have gone so well that I’m now the only Vicar still in his parish for miles in every direction. Naturally everyone expects I’ll be joining them “tomorrow” after “just tidying up a few loose ends” – like a whole diary full of funerals at double the standard honorarium (who else is around to help?) and ... but patience! It’s still too early to spill the beans concerning my true brilliance.
Stick around, and you’re soon to receive the most important lesson in ministry of your sinful and hitherto unenlightened lives. Young clergy: I’m expecting you to take special note of what will shortly be revealed by the Communion's most experienced minister.
I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.