Friday, October 3, 2008

Bishop Venables: GAFCON Ethics in Action.

Continental drift has claimed another parish: St. Aidan’s Windsor, Ontario (which is in Canada, for those of you who were home-schooled) has decided they’re part of little Greg Venables’ Southern Cone.

The manner in which this was decided stands as a beacon to responsible parish decision making: an announcement from the Diocese of Huron explains that was it the result of a vote taken by only about half of the congregation. Even more impressively, the Bishop’s two representatives were denied entry to the meeting, and refused any opportunity to present the case for doing something as outlandishly orthodox as acknowledging that an Anglican parish in the Diocese of Huron is in fact historically, logically and legally part of the Diocese of the Huron.

I’ve always said that the less informed anyone is when making a decision in my favour the better, and it’s apparent that his little Grace Venables shares this attitude. Never let your underlings find themselves bothered by facts, nor the shocking suggestion that there may well be another side to the argument. Just make sure they do what you want them to do, and then seize the spoils.

I was also please to see that both St. Aidan’s newsletter and the ANiC site have also taken steps to counter the shocking misinformation that they are opposed to women’s ordination. As they say, “the Anglican Province of the Southern Cone currently does not practice women’s ordination” but North American churches “are completely free to practice their consciences on this matter.” Unlike, of course, South American churches in the Southern Cone, who better damn well do what their Primate tells them if they value their toes and earlobes. This should end once and for all the shocking rumour that the Province of the Southern Cone expects Americans and Canadians to abide by the same rules and obligations as foreigners, when it’s so clearly obvious they’re in every way better Christians.

Besides, both sites make it clear that the Anglican Network in Canada has an extremely positive attitude to women’s ministry, stressing that “the prestigious role of assistant to Bishop Harvey” is actually held by a woman. Which ought to silence the critics for good: what could possible be more prestigious than making Bishop Harvey’s coffee, scheduling his meetings, and taking his stained vestments to the cleaners?

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.


Two Cents said...

Perhaps the only function of greater esteem than being Bishop Harvey's, "Vanquisher of Demonic Coffee Stains", would be that of "Blessed Bottom Cleaner of Daily Constitutional Remains" for the Great Venebles. A coveted position indeed, and one which brings the privilege of being privy to uncommon information so I understand.
As a matter of fact, Great Dr., during a recent conversation with Jensen's, "Post Elimination Penis Shaker", he mentioned to me of Jensen's brilliant practise of seeding Australian Diocese' outside his jurisdiction with parishes loyal to him and his movement of darkness. Are you able to shed any light on this rumour?

Anonymous said...

No close up please. That's what all the *really* chic doped-up/fading types always makes perfect sense to me that anyone who wants to sniff around the official business ought not be allowed to tarnish ACTS OF GOD! It's true, the heathenly must be stopped as they are allowed to prance around freely and hummm show tunes at Vestry Meeting breaks (and worse, during sacred Coffee Hour)'s been disgustable for quite some time and I salute Bishop Vacables as he forbids the worseness of situations against God and fully developed grown up men and women innocently getting sucked in...if you know what I mean.

Vileness at every turn.

Lamore Fellowington Jaspernitch Nippleslonger

Brian R said...

In reports from the Standing Committee to the Sydney Diocesan Synod to be held in a few weeks time the following can be found I have added in bold the Anglican Diocese in which the church exists:
The Standing Committee had declared 6 churches to be affiliated with this Church in this Diocese under clause 4(1) of the Ordinance. As at 7 August 2008, each of these declarations remains effective. Details of these affiliations are as follows
On 11 December 2006 the Standing Committee resolved to affiliate with the following 3 churches

Northern Lakes Evangelical Church Newcastle
Senior Pastor: The Rev Connan O'Shea

Albury Bible Fellowship Riverina
Senior Pastor: The Rev Chris Little

The Point Community Church Grafton
Senior Minister: The Rev Steve Covetz

On 10 December 2007 the Standing Committee resolved to affiliate with the following 2 churches

The Lakes Evangelical ChurchNewcastle
Senior Pastor: The Rev David Sheath

Maitland Evangelical Church Newcastle
Senior Pastor: The Rev Roger Burgess

On 16 June 2008 the Standing Committee resolved to affiliate with
Stanthorpe Evangelical Community Church Brisbane
Senior Minister: The Rev Neville Heywood

Cany said...

I should know better than to drink anything while reading this. The first para surely flushed my sinuses for a lifetime. I could at least have been drinking scotch. Not sure white wine would do anything positive.

As my T-shirt suggests, 'Bring Back Gondwnanaland'.

joseph said...

I haven't been able to figure out what the actual membership of the parish (or its average Sunday attendance) would have been, considering what the Diocese stated.

But I rather suspect it is a case of "the whole number of members present being entitled to vote", rather than simply the whole number of members being entitled to vote.

Which I think I've seen elsewhere.

Blessings on you fine ministry, Father.