Friday, July 31, 2009

Bishop Nwaizuzu won't get us...

Poor Bishop Quinine has taken things concerning Nwaizuzu and the Archdeacon of Death to heart, and he’s been busy fortifying the Manse in case our Archdeacon decides to visit. We’ve all tried to explain that there’s a big difference between Ichabod Springs and southern Nigeria, but he keeps insisting if a parish in upstate New York can suddenly be in Kenya there’s no reason our Archdeacon can’t on a whim decide he’s moved to Okigwe North before buying an AK-47 on eBay and dropping around to discuss our diocesan assessment.

The cause of this latest distress lays in Bishop Quinine having found another newspaper article about Reverend Samuel Ekechukwu, the Priest whose life is now in danger from Archdeacon and standover man Kenneth Olebara because his ex-wife’s novelty wore off for little Bobby Duncan’s good friend, Bishop Alfred Nwaizuzu. So seriously has our beloved pet Prelate taken this issue that as I write this he’s currently endeavoring to excavate an anti-tank trap around the Rectory and church perimeter: I’d stop him except for the fact that I’ve always quite fancied the idea of a parish moat, and a crocodile would indeed be an effective means of keeping the Sunday School children in line.

Besides; there's no harm in being careful. Who knows what else is going to emerge about the rest of ACNA's friends? With standards low enough to give the pulpit to Metropolitan Jonah and Bishop Nwaizuzu it's only a matter of time before they've brought Kim Jong-il along for a visit. Or some nasty piece of work from little Peter Jensen's toy-cupboard, which from a theological perspective is pretty much the same thing.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.


Anonymous said...

It may be necessary at times for a Bishop to have more than one wife - especially if he needs to populate his Diocese with many ordained children. I cannot believe that Mrs Jensen has given birth to so many ministers all by herself.

Jim said...

May I recommend you consider a blackhawk chopper with the 20mm cannon option? If this guy signs the Covenant and Dr. Williams makes him an offer as a combat commander you may need it!


Lapinbizarre said...
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