There are two types of leaders in this world: those not afraid to meet adversity head on, and those who pretend everything’s fine, and that the problem (“what problem?”) will eventually just disappear. Similarly, in times of trouble some leaders bring out the best in those under their command; inspiring them to respond with courage and brilliance they never knew they had. And on the other hand there are ACNA leaders.
Sadly little Bobby Duncan is an ACNA leader. It was last Thursday that the godless Superior Court of California (County of Fresno, Central Division) decreed that property theft is wrong - even if one is as doctrinally pure (because of one’s homophobia, as well as the fact that, unlike the Presiding Bishop and women in general, one’s genitalia are nominally male) as little layman John-David Schofield. That’s right, last Thursday! The apostates whom God in an act of obvious divine folly chose to bless with the return of that which is rightfully theirs issued a press release the following day, after which I prayerfully responded here, conveying my utter dismay that such archaic notions as truth and reality should have swayed the Court’s decision.
But from little Bobby? NOTHING!! Nothing last Friday, and still nothing as I write these wise words of encouragement to you, my Dearly Beloved sinners.
Nor has there been a word from little Bishop Venalballs. As Primate of the Southern Cone, and Grand Bullwinkle of layman Schofield and the pretence that was his empire, one might have expected at least something from the post-colonial Englishman bringing Christianity to a few million Spanish-speakers. Yet he’s also proven to be nothing more than an ACNA leader, despite offering an assurance of his favourite failed thief's “good standing and favour with me and this Province”, regardless that he “may have heard negative things about your ministries and orders from some quarters” (to whom could ++Venalballs possibly be referring?).
Meanwhile Viagraville is still giving pole-position to the pleasant subject of banning, while the luscious Sarah Hey has started a thread indicating she shares Bishop Quinine’s admiration of the Spartans, although I suspect she doesn’t know as much about them as he does. Little David Virtue and the rest are no different: mostly still whining about a convention that is, after all, so last fortnight, and none of them have girded their loins to fight for their now impoverished fellow schismatic. Which is not, of course, to say they haven’t girded their loins on a fairly regular basis: I know for a fact Dobby Ould does so every time Lord Volderjensen permits him to take a bath; just that nobody’s been prepared to give them a special girding for San Joaquin.
Which is, quite frankly, disgraceful. At times like this a true leader should be offering some rhetoric about ‘property not having mattered to Our Lord, nor to St. Paul, Wesley, or Whitefield, and not mattering to us either”. Except, of course, that the fellows this ruling hits hardest aren’t renown for their admiration for any of those gentlemen, and I’m not sure Cardinal Newman was into the ‘preaching in the fields and marketplaces’ thing. But still, my point stands, and any time layman Schofield wants to see a how a real leader would guide his flock through this mess he’s only got to contact me.
For an appropriate fee (cash or parish silverware melted down into unidentifiable ingots only, and definitely no checks from anyone associated with ACNA) I’ll be happy to show him how it’s done. My help won’t be cheap, but I guarantee it won’t cost anywhere near as much as little Bobby’s advice has cost so far – which in my estimation is pretty much everything layman Schofield has ever had. Not that any of his brethren in ACNA seem to care.
I'm Father Christian and I teach the Bible.