Philip Ahsey's blow job.

Like Bishop Quinine, little Philip Ashey likes to “go behind the scenes and blow things up”. However in Clumsy Phil’s case the “scene” probably isn’t behind the sports field dressing sheds, and the only body parts getting blown are his own feet. Because he keeps shooting himself in them.

The latest example of pyrotechnic incompetency from the man whom the AAC hired to perform giant chipmunk impersonations (to see what I mean view his picture here) takes the form of an emailed epistle in which he bemoans the fact that “with such a numerically diminished opposition, TEC leaders have a free hand to draft and pass virtually any legislation they like.”

Now when it comes to mathematics you don’t have to be Einstein to realize that if you urge all those of a particular persuasion to leave an organization, when it comes to a vote on any given issue those of the other persuasion will have the numbers to swing things their way. While this phenomenon may indeed be the result of apostate liberals corrupting arithmetic reality as fore-ordained since creation, it’s also known as basic democracy: if the “nays” don’t vote the “ayes” will carry. Which is, you’ve got admit, proof that even the grey cloud of schism does indeed have a silver lining.

It’s all very well for those who’ve left to join a new sect to rant and rave that those who’ve stayed aren’t doing things their way, but are they really so stupid that they didn’t realize that this is what would happen? Then again, it’s probably better nobody answers that question.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.