Thursday, July 9, 2009

Sleepless in Anaheim.

The news from General Convention is even more alarming than I’d feared. Whilst my Conservative Brethren have been busy moaning about an apostate liberal’s sartorial inclinations, and little Matt Kennedy (who is still miffed because the big bad ‘Piskies wouldn’t give him a badge so he can pretend to be a reporter which is hardly fair, since it’s is not as if he can pretend to be a priest any more either) is getting bored because people are talking about the “mundane business” of “procedural votes” instead of getting on with a good gossip about the jiggy-jig stuff, a certain Bishop’s blog shows the apostates are getting on with the hard work of building and administering a Church that actually seeks to minister to those whom Christ commanded us to care for!

Read it for yourself here and I’ve no doubt you’ll understand my concern: this Bishop unashamedly speaks of young people, disable people, and even foreigners participating in the decision-making processes. Even worse he makes it obvious that those assembled together are actually working! Constructing a framework in which people might serve God and each other!

My Dearly Beloved Sinners, I have no doubt that despite being as wicked as I know you all are, even you understand that conferences, conventions, and rallies devoted solely to pompous triumphalism aren’t supposed to accomplish anything. They’re supposed to make the people sitting at the top tables feel more important. Rather than building the Church, they should give important people a chance to slander that into which God called them, and to which they - if ordained – swore an oath of loyalty. Not even I – and words can’t convey how it pains me to admit this – could have imagined the apostates could have sunk so low as to actually seek to use the General Convention for positive purposes.

Perhaps things will improve, and little Matt will eventually get a chance to hear everyone talking about sex - hot, sweaty, forbidden one-on-one action. If your as concerned as I am about little Matt's disappointment you could try posting some words of condolence on his mournful Viagraville thread, although for the next few days anyone wanting to contact him might find more success here.

If anyone does see him please give him my regards, and let him know that things could be worse. Sure the delegates aren’t as obsessed with sex as he and his Viagravillains would like them to be, but on the other hand he could be back in Binghamton with his wife and family, obediently serving in the congregation he’s mislead. And we can all sure that’s nowhere nearly as exciting as hoping to find filth in Anaheim.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.


Anonymous said...

"And we can all sure that’s nowhere nearly as exciting as hoping to find filth in Anaheim." FCT+

I'm so please that it is YOU that uttered these words of trusted Father...I'm always accused of saying TRUTH a bit extra meanly and know how to stand firm and be kind/charitable and wise as I know all faithfilled would have it are a blessed with harsh, but loving, realities.

Virgil Huffnpuffy-Teapotdome

Anonymous said...

May I use this Biblical site to convey my good wishes to Mr. Kennedy? Since he is out cruising in Anaheim, I am unable to post greetings at Viagraville, after having been banned. I do hope he finds plenty of jiggy-jiggy to write about.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

My dear Huffnpuffy-Teapotdome:
You're quite correct: one of the great blessings of Orthodox Christianity is that one can be as nasty as one wants, providing one subsequently justifies whatever was said by claiming it was "just the truth spoken in love".

This is especially applicable if the "truth" is actually complete fiction.

Father Heron: any true Viagravillain will always eventually manage to find a reason to write about jiggy-jiggy. The ability is innate.