Saturday, June 14, 2008

Teaching Concerning Stalking

In the comments to an earlier epistle of mine a self-confessed “uppity woman” (is there any other kind?) has accused a fellow sinner of being a stalker.

Now contrary to what is taught in the evil godless liberal media, stalking is not of itself sinful, but is rather something with a fine Biblical tradition. My favourite example involves none other a role model than King David, and occurs in 1 Samuel 24:3-5:
He came to the sheep pens along the way; a cave was there, and Saul went in to relieve himself. David and his men were far back in the cave. The men said, "This is the day the LORD spoke of when he said to you, 'I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish'." Then David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul's robe.
Afterward, David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe.

In this passage we see Blessed King David performing an action which modern liberals would falsely decry as “stalking”; a curious man secretly follows another person in order to privately observe them urinating. Nothing in Scripture in any way suggests David’s action is wrong; the remorse our brave voyeur feels afterwards is merely due to his having damaged Saul’s clothing. This is doubtless because once the moment’s adrenalin rush had worn off David realised how foolhardy his actions really were, and how taking risks of this magnitude will invariably lead to one being discovered and caught. The text of the passage in no way suggests that anything else about David’s behaviour was in any other way inappropriate or sinful.

There can be no doubt that were David alive today he would have amassed a significant collection of digital photos as keepsakes of his harmless interest, and, given his generous heart, selflessly shared these mementos with other Bible-believers on the internet. Certainly, I realise how the Bible’s teaching in this regard goes against the notions of privacy and personal dignity expounded by the liberals intent of destroying our church, but in response all I can say is that if we are to be forced to choose between the Scriptures and the so-called “rights” of individuals we must align ourselves with the Scriptures every time! Doing anything less makes as much sense as healing people on the Sabbath.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.


JimB said...

The link to the 'uppity women' post is broken. All women should be 'uppity' but not all alas, are.


June Butler said...

Fr Christian, how long I will be used as a negative example in your posts? Isn't it time to move on?

I was curious to know if you will be in attendance at Lambeth as an observer. It probably won't be long before you get the mitre yourself, but, it occurs to me that you may actually consider a bishopric a step down from your present position.

Robert said...

Inquiring minds also want to know if blessed Fr. Christian is one of the clergy attending the GAFCON meeting? I'm sure his presence there is expected so he can give them the benefit of his wisdom.

KJ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KJ said...

Upon first reading this article, Fr. Christian, I was quick to doubt the thesis. I was, in part, distracted by your clear misunderstanding of the passage in I Samuel since, as any Bible-believing, second grade Sunday School student knows, King Saul went into the cave to sleep, and not to urinate or defecate.

But that aside, I think I do see where stalking may receive the nod of God, since if we do not monitor and pry into the lives of others, as God's representatives on earth, how would we know when others are not living godly, Gospel lives? Without that knowledge, our ability to exhort and convict would be mightily weakened.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Madam - the only time to move on and ignore the Sin in other people's lives is when they've been lovingly thrown in the Lake of Fire.

For everyone interested in my involvement with the conference to whom I have negotiated permission for the use of my ministry: I shall be offering profound and unique teaching on this matter in the next few days.

kj: Thank you for your trying so hard in your expansion upon this important Bible topic. I'm afraid your Sunday School teachers incorrectly relied upon the original language of the KJV, which simply refers to
Saul "covering his feet", but in this case the NIV's liberal paraphrase is more useful for the purpose of justifying my point.

While it is an important aspect of ministry to exhort and convict others, you have overlooked the the value of a stinging and demoralising rebuke in the process of cutting down those who start getting notions of Our Loving Father caring for them in some way.

KJ said...

If my Sunday School teachers were wrong about what King Saul was doing in the cave, it makes me wonder what other Bible passages they may have misrepresented.